i just came home, pulled off my wet clothes and stood naked looking at my sagging bum

then thought to myself - what do i want to do tonight, with my 4 hours remaining of the day - what awesoem life changing creative thing can i do that will make my life meaningful

then i read and email about aloneness which went along with something i was already feeling and then against all my better judgement i went on fb to see who was online

because i can't be alone

do you like me?

do you like me?

do you like me?

do you like me?

if you like me you'll write to me - who will it be?

how can i prove myself tonight? if i sort out the spare room, does it show i'm on my way to being an - hold it - ARTISTE? If i take pictures of myself naked in compromising poses does it show daring or wit? what do i have to do to get your attention?

So, i've been home for an hour now waiting

for attention

for something to shift

and i will probably make my statement on how much i love life and feel my personal FUCKIGN JOILIKJLOJFHALIURBOIURpurpose by watching gossip girl all night tonight while eating junk and feeling fucking sorry for myself!

and then i go and do more stupid shit

i asked myself earlier do what you want - follow your bliss, so to speak....i have no idea

i have no overwhelming mission in my life. i am not an artist. I have no particular skill

I am shy, overwhelmed, confused and generally self-obsessed.

bah